My youngest girl created this image on a computer game and I adore it. I like how she made it so full of yellow; brightness and joy. I'm thankful that my daughters have always had such a wonderful imagination. They have been drawing since they were old enough to hold a crayon and their drawings have never ceased to amaze me. It is something about imagination that keeps children truly happy from the inside out. My children teach me to see life in full color; to truly express myself, to nurture my imagination. In them, I see me, as they are my reflection.

On the move with my little ladies...

I am looking forward to spending time with my girls...they will be having their Spring break very soon and we have a big trip planned. They are very excited and so am I! Open road, new sights, quality time together and laughter, what could be better? Gone are the days when I'd hear "are we there yet?" Well, almost...

They truly enjoy being in the energy of traveling and can understand what it all entails for the most part. Packing is actually fun! They are at the age where they can decide what they'd like to bring along and it is encouraged as it helps them to be responsible and it is less work for me. :)

I treasure these times we have together, for all too soon they will be doing their own navigating and traveling...time is precious and so are the memories that we make together. I will never forget the many road trips I went on as a child with my family. The excitement would keep me up all night long...When I was 11, we drove from my hometown, Hyattsville, Maryland to San Antonio, Texas, stopping in most of the states in between. I remember the magic and newness of New Orleans, the rich history of Atlanta, Georgia and how I felt when we reached our destination. It is my hope that my girls will always retain a sense of adventure as they grow into their own. I always tell them to never be afraid of traveling to a new city, it is the wanderlust in me! The more experiences a child has, the richer their lives become. Happy Traveling!

Sweet recollections

I adore the relationship I have with my children and I hope that it only gets better. It is not always perfect and there are times when I don't know what to say or do, but isn't that all part of parenting? Through each new phase that my girls enter in their own lives, I am actually transformed in my own life. They are teaching me so very much...The levels of communication have changed considerably, what we talk about and the places that we go have changed as well. But what doesn't change is the love I feel...in fact maybe I am feeling the love even more so, knowing that one day, my little chicks will fly away from the nest...

I will love them forever, to the moon and back...

Motherhood is a sacred dance; a second chance to see purity within

We are caretakers, matchmakers, lovers and creators; we accomplish so much as mothers. But we are also prone to being "super" mothers; women who take care of everyone and everything. There was a time when I believed in choosing that path but it burned me out and I had to find a new way of mothering. I think we owe it to ourselves and our children to show them that we can indeed be unsure, or hurting or even emotional. Growing a tiny human being in pregnancy and then growing that same child as a mother is one of the most misunderstood, yet amazing feats ever taken. I have caught myself feeling overwhelmed at the prospect before me; a wave of doubt in my capabilities as a mother. I've been told many times that I'm a wonderful mother, that my children reflect a peace about them but I have still felt unsure and still do at times.

It has been easy most days but harder on others, along the way I felt the need to hide my tears; I'm not supposed to cry about this! But there were moments that I did, especially when I couldn't find the answers. I realized that the best thing I could do was allow my children to see me cry or allow them to hear me say, "I don't know."When we reveal that vulnerable side of ourselves to our children, they can feel the genuine connection with us even more. After all, don't children readily express their emotions with us? Sadness, anger, fear and happiness whenever they feel it coming? I can honestly say that my children have seen me grieve, cry, and laugh plenty of hearty belly laughs from the pit of my soul. They have even seen me scared; scared of the unknown...They do know and sense that protective lioness energy in their mama but they also know that I have been weak. We are truly stronger than we know, but the truth is that we thrive so much better when we have a sense of community as mothers. It is so important for us to nurture each other on this path.

The dance of motherhood is a sacred dance; we see our children through many stages in life while we are also going through our own unique stages. We are amazing creatures to be able to balance all of that and more; it is undoubtedly what makes us so strong. To all mothers, I salute YOU.

A Happy Ending to the story of "Wind"

So about a month ago I made a video about a Great Blue Heron in my neighborhood who had a crippling encounter with some fishing line. My girls and I love being outside and we always have, so one day we noticed "Wind" the name my girls gave to the heron, flying overhead with something attached to her legs. This was almost three months ago and we decided that we would get a closer look when we could see her standing near the lake behind our home. Sure enough, she had some twine wrapped around her long legs that was preventing her from standing on both feet and most likely disabling her fishing techniques. We were quite familiar with her as she has been coming to fish near our home for a few years now and we felt very sad and helpless when we saw her in this condition. So, we decided to call the South Florida Wildlife Center to let them know about this beautiful bird. At first we were told that if she could still fly, then she was okay and still able to fish, but to call back if she appeared to be getting weak. Apparently, I had not been the only person who had called about her as they informed me that someone else had taken note of her unfortunate situation. They said that she would most likely fly away if an attempt was made to catch her. Well, days turned into weeks and someone from the Wildlife center did indeed come out to try and catch her, they saw me feeding her bread just a few feet away but when she sensed the worker nearby she kept flying away. I tried to mentally connect with her and let her know that he only wanted to help her, but she was not having it. My girls were insistent on helping her and rightly so for she was becoming weaker and more desperate to catch fish, but she still came over to eat the bread we threw out onto the lake for the ducks every week. We watched her like a hawk and sure enough, her legs became weaker from the twine being so embedded in her them. We knew we had to do something when we saw her falling into the lake and looking like a large duck just floating in the water. Wind felt very comfortable around us and would allow us to be only steps away from her as she ate the bread we gave to her. It made us happy that she was eating something as we knew she probably wasn't catching much fish if any. We knew she needed help though and we called again for someone to come out to rescue her since her condition seemed to be getting worse. This past Friday we had a knock on our door and we all stood there in amazement as we looked on to the man who had tried to catch Wind before but now finally had her in his arms!

 Another worker stood next to him and showed us a baggie with the fishing twine inside of it, finally cut away from her legs. Me and my girls were so very happy and we thanked the guys for their successful rescue. I actually breathed a sigh of relief, I was so thankful. They told us that they used fish to lure her to them and she seemed so ravenous for the fish that it was not very hard this time to catch her. I was thinking of how she must have been feeling; confused, yet maybe happy that her legs were free now. They asked us if we wanted to touch her and we did; her feathers were so soft and her large eyes were fixed on us. We told her she would be okay now and that we were so happy for her...I was very worried about her legs, and they told us they would do everything they could to help her. I called the next day, hoping for good news and they informed me that Wind was doing well after her legs had been cleaned, bandaged and she had been given antibiotics. They also shared with us that they would most likely return her to the lake behind our home after she heals up. I felt so good inside and shared the news with my girls. We all have soft spots for animals, I always have, since I was a girl. I remember rescuing all types of animals, some successful, others not always, but I see that same love in the hearts of my children for all of the Earth's inhabitants. And what a gift of the Spirit it truly is when we can feel compassion for those who have no voice but depend on us sometime to help them.

A video blog of this beautiful great blue heron

We have been seeing this great blue heron almost every day near our home and recently we noticed that she had fishing line wrapped around her legs, causing quite a bit of difficulty for her to move properly when she fishes. One of her legs is stuck inside of the twine rendering her unable to fully stand on both feet. I have called to see if we can get some help to her...just wanted to share.

Communication is a beautiful art

I find that when I talk to my kids and really listen with intent to what they have to say, I am able to have a closer relationship with them. I really love hearing their thoughts and what they feel is important in their world, it seems to make a big difference in their self esteem. I make sure my phone is out of reach for a bit, the t.v. is off and we are in a comfortable space for them to share their feelings with me. I was a child once and I remember how good it felt when I was listened to and not brushed off. I feel like I am setting the stage for the teenage years; if I talk to them now and expect us to have healthy communication patterns, perhaps it will be something they will continue as they get older. I would love for that to happen, even if they don't tell me everything they are experiencing, the gist of this practice will instill in them that they can come to me no matter what. I often learn a thing or two when communicating with my kids and believe me, they do take notice! The older my children get, the more imperative it is for me to make that connection with them. Things are different, they don't always volunteer to share every waking minute of their lives with me like they did when they were just learning how to speak. I have to make the first move sometimes when we talk, and I have to show them that I am deeply interested in what they have to express to me. I treasure our moments when we share a laugh or our opinions together, it is meaningful indeed. Perhaps I will get the scoop on their school day or be able to put myself in their shoes about an event that stuck with them when we have heart to hearts. Either way, they will know that what they have to say matters.

Sushi anyone?

So Friday afternoon brought some smiles to the faces of my girls being that we were going into the weekend. I usually do smoothies, fresh juices or find a recipe for a quick but filling snack to hold us all until dinner time after school when they get home. Last week's grocery shopping trip entailed getting ingredients to make sushi at home but I didn't even remember to get a sushi mat! I finally ended up grabbing one and decided that we would make our own little recipe. I was becoming excited as I prepared the sticky sushi rice, pulled out my nori sheets and chopped up veggies to go inside of our rolls. I chopped up avocado, carrots, green onion and celery for the filling. There were easy to follow directions folded up inside of the package that contained the bamboo rolling mat. I called the girls down to help me and they were quite interested in how everything would turn out. They helped me to assemble the ingredients onto the seaweed and we rolled it all into a perfect log which we place on the cutting board to be cut into sections. We were so excited to try it!! We grabbed some organic, gluten free tamari and sprinkled a little on a dish for dipping. We also sprinkled some sesame seeds onto the rolls before we dug in. I was wishing I had some wasabi paste and pickled ginger to accompany the sushi but didn't dwell on it too much, I would have been the only one eating it anyway...We all tried some of our creation and the smiles and eyes widening told me all that I needed to know! It was a success! I couldn't help but share with the girls that they all of a sudden liked veggies that they told me they weren't too crazy about in the sushi. They didn't think much of it but I was happy about making sushi a signature snack here and there. Especially a snack that they can enjoy as much of as they want to because it's so darn healthy! They commented on how cool the rolls looked; "just like in restaurants" were their exact words. Bow and curtsy for that one. I love thinking of new things to try out with the girls when we cook; variety is the spice of life! Needless to say, we didn't leave any leftovers...until next time!

The song Mamas sing

Taking an active part in communicating with my children is of utmost importance to me. I like knowing that my children come to me to share their thoughts and how they view life. While I knew I could come to my mother about this or that, I didn't really have too many heart to hearts with her until I became a mother myself.  My mother and I are from two different eras, I was a late 70's baby and she was a 30's baby so there was definitely a difference in how we approached motherhood.  I gleaned much in how my mother raised me; I took a little from her and infused it with my own unique ideals.

There is a balance to how I approach parenting, I'm not too strict, but I'm also not too open. I don't believe in allowing my kids to make decisions for themselves that they may not be mature enough to handle yet. I also don't believe in "sugar coating" the difficult moments in life. I let them know that it's okay to be angry, sad, silly and most importantly themselves. I let them know that "real" friends will always accept them for who and what they are.  It is a bittersweet moment for me; to see my young ones change year after year, month after month and day after day. They have opinions now and a lot of them! When talking to my children, I really find out so much about life. 

 When looking at the books they are reading or listening to songs they like to listen to, I ask questions. I ask them what it is that they like about what they are taking in. I let them know that what they decide to embrace should resonate with who they are. Yes, they are children but I believe in teaching them early on that every decision they make should make sense to them. Basically, think first, act second! Of course, emergencies call for immediate action, but for the most part, they get the gist of what I am saying. 

 I like when we read chapter books together or when we watch a movie together and talk about it afterward. I love seeing them smile and have fun, alone or with their friends. I am able to see a different side of them, and hear more of what makes them so unique.

 Being a mother has been one of the most beautiful experiences I have had in my lifetime. I go through days of wondering; am I doing this mothering thing as best as I could be? Have I dotted all my i's and crossed my T's? This year will be milestones for my babies, one will be going into double digits and the other will become a teenager. I am in utter shock at how fast time flies, I swear I was just changing diapers and reading board books to two little people snuggled in my lap! We still have our special times together, doing things that are geared toward their interests and it helps, it makes our connection stronger. I think the fact that they know I am willingly present in their lives creates the security that they need to grow into strong young women. I only hope that my girls will continue to come to me and share their deepest thoughts and dreams. 

Older children need chill time too

In this fast paced, technological world we live in, how do we make time for our children to just chill? How do we all just tune out and really tune in to each other? Now that my children are older, I have to think of more innovative ways to keep that connection going with them; encouraging them to feel relaxed and at ease after the business of the day. While they are past the dinner, bath, story and bedtime routine to an extent; I still attempt to maintain a level of consistency with our evening time together.

Gone are the days when I would play soothing lullabies for my girls to settle them down for the evening; I now play artists we all enjoy and can vibe to. I sometime allow the girls to play music from their favorite artists as well; it gets them talking and I love to have dialogue with my kids; it's a great way to spend quality time; to find out what they are thinking. It usually is a win win situation. We also read together, especially after dinner but not necessarily at bedtime. We read poetry, geography books and chapter books to name a few. In fact we just finished a book titled "Cousins" by Virginia Hamilton. We really enjoyed the suspense of what was happening in the story, sharing our thoughts together and talking about the conclusion of the book. Books usually prompt questions and this is yet another way to utilize the opportunity for dialogue together. Some children may not be into books as much and that is okay; children can be met where they are and their likes and dislikes taken into consideration. 

Most children love to get outside but are not getting out enough or at all. We all need fresh air and exercise; especially after work and school has kept many of us inside buildings most of the day. Sometime after picking up the kids from school, instead of rushing home to do homework and watch the clock to ensure we are on task, we take an impromptu trip the beach or the park, or even a nature trail to have a few moments for unwinding. Often, we'll take walks in our neighborhood together; giving us time to talk about our day together. If I have noticed that one or both of the girls are exhausted after school, I usually suggest a "rest" before homework so they can relax their minds before jumping into completing their assignments. Afterward they feel refreshed and are able to complete their work with less anxiety if they have taken some time to rest first. I don't mind the extra time we use in our day to do things that will help my family to have a more peaceful evening. I light candles, play jazz in the background, and we talk while having dinner together.

Towards the weekend, we have "movie nights" or "game nights" together and it's a great way to bring in the end of the week with something fun for us to do. Of course, kids will be kids and even the best intentions for "chill" time can fall by the wayside. What is most important is to realize that even older children need down time. Adults need down time, we all need down time.

The little things

My girls really help me to be more aware at times as well as thankful. Yesterday I was very tired from work and wanted to order food so I wouldn't have to cook. Well, it turns out that I didn't order food after my oldest daughter suggested we make pizza! We did in fact have plenty of ingredients to make homemade pizza and so that is what we did. I was happy it worked out that way and even happier when we all ate our culinary creation together. It was delicious and cost us zero dollars, which made me smile. Just another day with my girls who make me realize I indeed have so much to be thankful for.

My baby boy's 4th birthday

In the year 2009 on March 31st, I lost my son at 7months into my pregnancy with him. In 2006 I had a miscarriage in the first trimester of my pregnancy; I had not known what sex my baby was as it was too early to find out. It was an emotional experience for me with both losses. I remember both experiences as if they were etched in my mind, however, I feel stronger with each passing year…I feel  like; if I can navigate my way through something as painful as losing a baby twice, then I am truly a warrior in this life. This year my son would have been four years old, I also would have had a seven year old son or daughter. Those pregnancies were only meant to be spiritual for me; both my babies only existed in the spirit world. They came to me to teach me something, their presence changed my life in a way that I would never have imagined.

This year, I decided to take all of the mementos I received at the hospital where I gave birth to Samuel out of the little blue box I had kept them in since I left for home on that somber day. It is so beautiful today, the sunshine is pouring over me, lighting up my room with its brightness and I feel overjoyed at being alive. I feel overjoyed at the fact that I am ready to celebrate this huge step in my grieving process. I plan to purchase a brand new photo album and place all of my black and white photos of my son inside. I will choose something with vibrant colors to celebrate his life. The first photos I ever received of Samuel were ultrasound photos, when he was still alive and kicking away inside me.  I have pictures of his mouth yawning, his little legs, so perfectly shaped, and his profile which resembled his father so much. I also have cards from family and friends, the most beautiful picture created by my youngest daughter; Leilani. She drew Samuel, me, herself and her sister Kaiyah all together with heart shaped smiles. I treasure this picture drawn in crayon; it is so full of love.

 I will no longer feel that his life, his short journey of existence has to be kept inside of a blue box I received from the hospital where I had him. Thinking about this plan has made me feel so happy and more at peace. I know now so much that I didn’t know at the time this was happening in my life. I didn’t feel any peace, or happiness and I didn’t understand why this had to happen. I still don’t have all of the answers but I’m closer to healing than ever before and I just want to keep going in that direction.  It will be soothing to my spirit to devote something special to the memories of my baby boy.

Moments in Time

The last couple of months I have been taking my girls on road trips, and they have loved the experience. I am making memories with these little people because all too soon they will be young women making their own pathways in life. I try to capture moments of them playing and laughing via my camera...I'm freezing moments in time for those days when I will want to pull out my photo albums and reminisce. If there is one thing that I plan to expound upon in the coming new year it is that I will use every minute of my life to live more fully. Time is so very precious, it is the one thing that we don't have any control over. On another note, we do have control over how we use our time. I don't want to spend my time frivolously anymore...every minute will have meaning.

Sistah Love

We crowded around and listened to our sister-friend Empress Kimmy give us her account of Queen Sadiqa's birth of her son...We smiled at each other, in the kitchen of my home, Sistah Amanda and Empress Amanda, feeling the familiar bond we shared through birth...Though at the moment I knew how far were in miles, I felt the closeness within our circle of sisters. I wanted to be with Sadiqa during her birth to support her but although I couldn't, Sadiqa was well cared for by Empress Kimmy, a seasoned, exceptionally strong, nurturing and loving mother, and doula...Kimmy lit candles to represent myself, Sistah Amanda and Empress Amanda, I had to hold back the tears that were daring to fall as she spoke about this most beautiful act! I felt so much love and emotion at this moment and was just so thankful as she kept saying we were all there at Sadiqa's birth in Spirit...I give thanks for the safe arrival of another little prince, I also give thanks for another homebirth! And last but not least I give thanks for the love of my Sistahs :)...

Transitions

So, I must say that this year so far has been one of many transitions...with myself, my relationships, my family, my friends and my daughters...I witnessed my oldest daughter "graduate" from 5th grade onto the sixth grade and my little one will be starting 3rd grade next year! Honestly, I was having a hard time with this transition, I felt like time was moving so fast, like in a moment I would blink and my girls would be graduating from high school! My daughter's fifth grade ceremony was so wonderful, she wore a beautiful dress and was beaming with pride...We were all very proud of her as well. Later that day, I did shed a few tears because all I could think was "everything is happening so fast"...However I also realized that every day with these two rays of sunshine is a gift! I'm blessed with this moment, I have memories and pictures to treasure those days gone past, and a whole new future ahead of us with the moments to come.

Raising Vegetarian Children

Deciding to raise vegetarian children has been one of the most rewarding decisions I have made since I found I was pregnant with my two daughters. During my first pregnancy I adhered to a vegan diet (no animal products), while I followed a mostly vegan diet during my second pregnancy. I say mostly because I did eat some dairy during my second pregnancy. It is interesting to note that with both pregnancies my cravings seemed to change. Thankfully with the myriad of choices at local health food stores, farmers markets and even chain grocery stores, being vegan/vegetarian is easier now than ever! I feel as if I have been doubly blessed because not only are my children not very picky eaters but they truly enjoy being vegetarian! It is not as if they have never been around meat or seen people eating it because they have. They know that in this big world there are people from all walks of life, those who are vegetarian, those who are not; the message I try to teach them is to be an example to all people they meet. They can embrace their diet and love who they are while also being able to respect and appreciate the differences in other people.

Now for the good stuff! What exactly is a day in the life of a vegetarian child like? Well, for me, variety has to be the key. Not only is variety important so that boredom at the mealtime won’t set in, but also for the nutritional value that different foods can offer.  Breakfast for the girls might be waffles, some fruit, scramble tofu, homemade pancakes, biscuits, and oatmeal, cream of wheat or just cereal and milk! Instead of cow’s milk, we purchase almond, rice, coconut or soy milk which all offers just as much calcium as cow’s milk without the added fat and hormones. We also make smoothies using frozen fruit, nut butters, ground flax seed which is a wonderful source of omega fatty acids and fiber. Sometime I will add a little honey for extra sweetness in the smoothie!

Snacks usually consist of chips and salsa, hummus and pita chips, yogurt and granola, cookies and milk either homemade or store bought. The girls love Newman’s own cookies and Whole Foods duplex cookies the best, both brands offer healthier versions of sandwich cookies using organic ingredients and are lower in sugar. We also will do popcorn, bagels with a vegan based butter and yeast flakes sprinkled on top of it. Some people know it as Nutritional yeast which has a cheesy like flavor and is an excellent source of B-12 which is important for nerve development among other things. I also enjoy baking, so I will get recipes from my cookbooks or online for muffin and cookie recipes. These come in handy during the week when I need something quick and filling during the week for after school. Dinner will be usually consist of a veggie, protein, and grain or starch. We all enjoy trying new ways of cooking some of our favorite staples like tofu, beans and pasta.  The girls enjoy getting in the kitchen with us and helping us cook the meals. I think it is good for them because kids are more likely to try things that they have helped to prepare! Dinner might be something like sautéed kale, (which the girls love), barbecue tofu, brown or jasmine rice and cornbread…yummy! The girls also enjoy my roasted potatoes which are a healthier version of French fries. I usually use red skin, russet or Yukon potatoes, after slicing them up (skin on), I coat the potatoes with olive oil and season with sea salt, paprika, onion and garlic powder and black pepper. These “fries” go extremely well with veggie burgers and organic ketchup on the side! Another favorite I prepare for the girls is homemade pizza, the dough is oh so easy to make…using unbleached flower, yeast, warm water and honey to make my own crust. Some of our favorite toppings are mushrooms, onions, fresh garlic, basil, vegan cheese (lots of great brands to choose from), peppers, and soy sausage, we even add broccoli! There are usually no leftovers when I make pizza; we eat it till it is gone!!!

We love to search out new recipes for some of our favorite dishes like macaroni and cheese, soups, and treats like brownies or cookies. I like to browse the library for new vegan/vegetarian cookbooks and there are plenty of great websites to get recipes with reviews and other resources as well. One such website is www.vegweb.com; it has recipes for just about everything!

In addition to ensuring the girls eat a variety of foods that offer nutritional benefits, I also have them take a multivitamin. Children grow so fast and it is important to make sure their little bodies get all the vitamins and minerals they need. I attribute the girls hardly ever getting sick to being exclusively breastfed as babies and to their diet. I believe a vegan/vegetarian diet can be very beneficial and wonderful for children! The key is to keep it fun by trying new foods and setting an example for our children to follow!